Beatifying St. Stephen II.

There is a very elaborate and cautious process involved here and nobody rushes these things.  The Roman Church does not undertake the creation of a saint casually or in any way spuriously.  Saints are sacrosanct.  The process can take hundreds of years.  That is why the beatification of St. Stephen II will not be an overnight sensation.  It took a long time for St. Stephen I, the first King of Hungary, who brought Christianity to the Hungarians, to be recognized as a saint.  You have to figure it will take a lot longer for Canadians to really appreciate St. Stephen II, who brought the blessings of Western Conservatism to the benighted of Canada.

It all started with the musings of Rex Murphy of Canadian Broadcasting Corporation fame.  Speaking on the National news program a while ago, Mr. Murphy revealed that it might not be Stephen Harper who is the extremist on political matters.  Mr. Murphy posited that it could be Mr. Harper’s detractors who are the extremists in these circumstances.  Maybe it is Mr. Harper who is getting a bum rap.

It was because of this revelation from on high—and a most unlikely source—that the Roman Church sprang into action.  In a country such as Canada it is a serious problem to have such a paucity of saints.  In Italy, you have a saint for almost every 678 people while 33 million Canadians have to share a very small number who have made it into the charmed circle.

And while the prospective saint, Stephen Harper has not particularly proselytized Catholicism to Canadians, he has certainly done a fine job in scaring hell out of the godless naysayers, communists, gays, environmentalists, fallen women, liberals and other left-wingers in Canadian society.

And nobody appreciates this more than the Roman Church—the bastion of regression in Canada and around the world.  The public relations people have been telling the church leaders for years that they need more positive role models.  It is not enough to have Jesus on side; he is from too far in the past.  Who today wants to listen to a guy in a long flowing dress.  You need role models that people can relate to in modern times.

You need more Stephen Harper’s on side.  Make him a saint.  He will be dead when you do.  He can hardly object.  You could make his saint’s day around July 1 to stir a little patriotism.  This guy has potential.  So what if he is not Roman Catholic?


Copyright 2011 © Peter Lowry

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