Oil and royal action figures go south.

Do you remember the Falklands War of 1982? We were laughing at Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher, at the time, having a Brit fleet circling in the mid Atlantic hoping to scare the Argentine soldiers on the Falklands/Maldivas into surrendering. In the end it got bloody with some 900 Argentine soldiers being killed when the Brits landed. On the 30th anniversary of the dust-up, they have found oodles of oil off the coast of those islands and the protagonists are back at it.

With an estimated US$180 billion in oil potential, the sheep herders on the islands off Argentina are becoming a cause célèbre for the entire South American continent. As the Brits have no intention of giving the islands to the Argentines, South American countries are rallying to the side of the sheep herders. The sheep herders—in case anyone cares—are quite happy being British subjects.

Thankfully, this time, it is still very much a war of words. To be on the safe side, the Brits have sent a nuclear submarine and a destroyer to the Falklands to point out their claim of ownership. They cheerfully explain to all who might be interested that the one destroyer has enough rockets on it to shoot down every fighter aircraft in South America. Their point being that they would not fool around in the mid Atlantic this time.

The Brits already had plans this year for some 30th Anniversary events to honour their Falklands citizens. They have already sent Prince Billy to the Falklands to serve his country. (There is nothing more dangerous than to fly one of those old Sea King helicopters.) Mind you, Kate is keeping a stiff upper lip about it back in London. The scene would only be a bit better if she was pregnant with another royal heir.

The Brits have realized that an important component of the old traditions is sending their princes off to fight their battles. This has led to a rapidly growing market throughout the Commonwealth for action figures of Prince Harry shooting Arabs with his machine gun and Prince Billy flying his decrepit Sea King and rescuing people in more serious straits. The Queen has even been asked for permission by the toy manufacturers to make sure the boy dolls are anatomically correct. It is a matter of some concern in certain circles that they cannot show the royal princes without balls.


Copyright 2012 © Peter Lowry

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