The Brits can certainly handle royalty.

Who would not have enjoyed that jolly send-up of the Queen in the opening of the London Olympics. Even many of Her Majesty’s Canadian subjects could understand those odd bits of British humour that made the obligatory opening celebrations a delight to watch. Director Danny Boyle, who produced the living movie, as he described it, must have thought he had died and gone to Heaven when he got that assignment.

The Queen (a stand-in at least) parachuting out of a helicopter with filmdom’s current James Bond (Daniel Craig) was about as broad as British humour gets. Mind you, actor Rowan Atkinson—in his Mr. Bean persona—was much funnier in his skit with the London Symphony Orchestra.

Watching the ceremonies, you had to admit that the Brits really know how to do pantomime.  At the same time, you have to admit that British designers should never have been allowed to dress any of the cast of thousands. When one hears the words “British design, one automatically thinks of the word: dowdy. Mind you, for the Mary Poppins portion, they had to stick with the period.

Even during the entry of the athletes—pronounced ath-letes, not ath-el-etes—those costumes on the escorts where ridiculous. If the attempt was to be sure not to overshadow the athletes’ costumes, they certainly succeeded. And the ladies with the stand-up letters over their heads, for each country, were hardly dressed in anything close to haute couture.

But, backing up to the royals, that was supposed to be the highlight of the evening. Even the Queen’s corgis got into the act. Those little dogs were much better actors than the Queen. They certainly seemed to be enjoying themselves in their role—much more than Daniel Craig. When Craig jumped out of the helicopter, you understood why he wanted to do it, seemingly without a parachute.

And this is just another reason why Canada should not use the British royals for its head of state. Canadian politicians would never agree to the Queen doing acting stunts like that in this country. Our Canadian politicians are far too bloody uptight for that.


Copyright 2012 © Peter Lowry

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