A successful jubilee for the world’s best soap.

Nobody beats the Brits at pageantry and soap operas and the British monarchy just had a banner year. It was so successful that they arrogantly broadcast the Queen’s annual message to the Commonwealth in three dimension, high definition television. That must have really pleased a hundredth of one per cent of the audience who could view the Queen in three dimensions. Why they would want that is an interesting question.

Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth the Second is a very one dimension type of person. She has no interesting side. Her stoicism in making it through her jubilee year was something of a wonder for a person of her age. She runs her extended family with strength and a dry wit that continues to dumbfound her loyal subjects.

The true highlight of her jubilee was that wet and dreary day when anything that could float was pressed into service on the Thames for a royal float past. Even though it endangered the health of the old Duke, he stood steadfast by her side throughout the fiasco. Viewers of the event were never told how many of those scows sank to the bottom of the Thames.

Her royal grandsons continue to be the apple of her royal eye. It is hard to say which is favourite after the eldest and second in line for the throne managed to knock up his anorexic appearing wife. Royal watchers are all a-twitter at that news. It was more than a twitter when the younger Harry got caught starkers with a young lady in Las Vegas. His only excuse was that the Special Branch blokes who were supposed to be watching had their own hookers. His kindly grandma advised him that whatever happens in Las Vegas should stay in Las Vegas.

The world looked in when Her Majesty supposedly arrived to help open the Olympics by parachute. It was, without a doubt, the best pageant to open an Olympic Games ever produced. Later we were treated to the worst pageant to end an Olympics ever produced. London and Her Majesty survived the games but Londoners will never forgive nor forget the traffic jams.

In Canada, Her Majesty’s loyal subjects received Jubilee Medals. The criteria to receive a medal appeared to be being liked by your local Conservative Member of Parliament. This kept the number of medals to be pressed nicely under control.

Some day Canada will put an end to the silliness of its colonial past and have a head of state of its own. That time is long overdue.

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Copyright 2012 © Peter Lowry

Complaints, comments, criticisms and compliments can be sent to  peter@lowry.me

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