The Hair helps His Honour.

You could tell from the news clips of yesterday’s event that the Hair is enjoying his holiday. With Parliament prorogued until late October, the hair has time to visit with friends and cronies such as Toronto Mayor Rob Ford. Of course, the Hair tries to stay out of Toronto so Mayor Ford had to go to Mississauga for the meeting.

But it was all good news for Ford Nation. No specifics mind you. The Hair told the assembled news media and His Honour that the federal government stood ready to write a cheque to pay for His Honour’s much maligned subways. It certainly made the province’s transportation minister with his recent offer of $1.4 billion for a two-stop surface subway to look like a piker.

You just know that when the Hair and his Finance Minister Jim Flaherty get around to deciding how much, it will certainly be more than a measly $1.4 billion. After all, there will have to be at least another six announcements of the Hair’s largesse before there will even be a cheque cut for the down payment. And that will only happen if the Hair is re-elected in the next federal election.

But the Hair looked very good as the cameras caught the commotion. There was nary a strand out of place—a sincere credit to his hairdresser’s art. And there he was properly dressed in suit and tie and a picture of perfection beside His Honour “The Slob.”

(Babel-on-the-Bay apologizes to anyone affronted by this disrespect for the Toronto mayor. It is beyond us as to why that man cannot buy some clothes that fit. Surely, they must still make shirts with size 20 necks. Does nobody look after that guy?)

But, we digress. Obviously the Hair does not have enough to do when on another prorogation vacation. Here he came down to the wilds of Mississauga to stick a finger in the eye of the Ontario government and we are looking at the picture of him and his friend the Mayor and going into peals of laughter. If you are old enough, the picture reminds you of Laurel and Hardy—“Here’s another nice mess you have gotten me into”—or if you are younger—it might be more like Abbott and Costello—“but who’s on first?”

The rest of Ontario is becoming increasing tired of the posturing and political tantrums consuming all levels of government over Toronto’s transportation problems. The city is hopelessly snarled in traffic jams of its own making. Poor planning, foolish budgeting and political infighting have left the city snarled in its own excesses. The only thing for sure is that it will take people far smarter than the present powers to solve it.

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Copyright 2013 © Peter Lowry

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