Toronto: What Model Ford do you want?

It is hard to believe all the mealy-mouthed concern about Toronto Mayor Rob Ford’s health. Under their breath many of these hypocrites are saying: “Look’s good on you fatso!’

But never fear Torontonians, there is a model ‘T’ (for Toronto) Ford just for you. For mayor, your option is now a Douglas Ford. This is the older, taller version of Ford who was supposed to be the brains behind the throne for the past four years. Frankly, if Doug Ford was the brains, it is not much of a guess as to why things were getting derailed so often. Doug Ford is the abrasive one. And it is almost sad to say it but he actually lacks the political savvy of his younger brother.

This is not to say that Rob Ford is out of the picture. Rob is now running for the less demanding role of councillor in his old ward in Etobicoke. Of course there might have to be some surgery along the way but he is counting on what he calls Ford Nation to keep him elected. Nobody has heard officially what the young nephew thinks of this but he has been relegated to a role as school trustee. Most conservatives in Ontario consider that a holding position until a more prestigious opening comes along. Nobody really knows enough about him to care.

Mayoralty candidate Olivia Chow was fastest to the microphones shedding crocodile tears over poor Rob Ford. Mind you the very thought of Doug Ford in the mayor’s chair would bring tears to any clear thinking person’s eyes. In her usually stilted way of speaking, Chow said all she needed to say about how much she is going to miss having Rob Ford to kick around.

It was a pleasure to hear candidate John Tory make it clear that he was not impressed with the idea of Doug Ford stepping into the mayoralty race. He was polite about it but he thought that Doug Ford had made the point well that he was looking forward to getting back to the family business. Mr. Tory sounded confident that the voters would help Doug Ford return to the family business in short order.

But what is interesting about this business of politics is you really wonder what else can happen in this crazy campaign. Maybe Toronto Council can get back to the business of running the city in the next year. We will just have to find some new hobbies for the Toronto news media.

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Copyright 2014 © Peter Lowry

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