Hailing the Hair’s homecoming.

They were all in Ottawa for the opening of parliament. They were the Conservative Commons and Senate parliamentarians, the Prime Minister’s and ministerial staffs, MPs’ and Senators’ staffs, local Conservative Party members and their guests. They were all there to welcome home the Hair.

But they were not in the parliament buildings. The Hair detests parliament. It is a bother for him. People stand in parliament and criticize him. They do not recognize the greatness that the Hair sees in his vision of Canada. They ask long and boring questions. There is the tedium of votes.

The Hair prefers to talk to these loyal supporters as though he is the laird responding to the fealty of his household staff. He has journeyed far for them. He has dealt with worldly problems and concerns. He can report his successes. He can speak with benevolence. In a large room in a conference centre draped with large Canadian flags he reported on his successes and launched his party into a year-long election campaign.

God help us, he set his sights on a Conservative victory in 2015. Who else would he expect to be given control of the Canadian economy? He also stands for retribution for criminals, consumer rights, stamping out prostitution and solving the world’s problems.

The Hair spoke of the strengths he and his loyal followers are going to take into this campaign. He believes in his foreign policy, such as it is. He continues to pander to the Canadian Jewish community and our country’s voters of Ukrainian extraction. And he continues to stand ready to sign any so-called free trade deal anyone puts before him. He thinks this is statesman-like.

The Hair told his sycophants that they will need to make short work of the upcoming work of parliament this fall. He wants to be ready for a self-aggrandizing throne speech and a laudatory budget in the New Year. This will continue his theme of tax cuts and smaller government while catering to the oppressive priorities of his Conservatives.

The Hair managed to go through all of this foolishness as though he was a farmer spreading manure on his fields. His hand picked audience appeared to have bought it.

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Copyright 2014 © Peter Lowry

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