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Category: Federal Politics

The perfect hair of Stephen Harper.

June 25, 2014 by Peter Lowry

The following blog was first run in August 2012 and it continues to draw visitors. Over the past two years more than 3000 visitors have searched out this specific entry. As we are taking a day off, we decided to run it again for your reading pleasure.

It is amazing what can get readers interested. A story the other day mentioned the Prime Minister’s exquisite hairpiece. Lo and behold, we get e-mails pro and con the idea that the guy wears some hair that might not have his follicles. So what? Only his hairdresser knows what is real and what is not.

Okay, hands up everybody who thinks that is all Stephen’s real hair. Quiet. We are counting here.

Next, can we have hands up by everyone who is sure that Stephen wears a rug.

That settles it. Readers of Babel-on-the-Bay are a pretty knowledgeable bunch. The ‘ayes’ have it. Stephen’s rug appears to be general knowledge.

Having viewed the various iterations of Stephen Harper over the years, it is obvious that the first hairpiece was in place in the 90s. It was lank and lacked the iron-grey strength of today’s more professional pieces. After all, he could only get the cost of his full-time hairdresser covered after becoming Prime Minister back in 2006. With all Stephen Harper’s travels around the world, his hairdresser probably has more air travel time in an Airbus A310 than most Canadian Forces Air Transport Command pilots.

This is probably the same hair and make-up specialist that Harper hired away from CTV back when he defeated Paul Martin and moved into his first minority government. Stephen seems to keep her busy. We hear that she not only does his hair, fixes his make up—you can see the eye-liner when he does a TV bit—uses a lint remover to fix his suits and, we suppose, even does the fast check of his clothes, shoes and makes sure his fly is done up. Hey, maybe that is why he is often late for media and photo sessions.

To really see the scope and placement of his hairpieces, you have to have a camera person shooting tight head and shoulders shots outside on a windy day. You will notice that the straight front of the hair across the forehead will sometimes shift slightly, as a single piece. It happens when she has not used enough glue. It would take a force eight gale to disturb a single strand of that hair with all the lacquer she sprays on it.

Maybe we can have some fun criticizing Stephen’s hairpiece in our blog but it is hardly a subject worthy of the lads and lassies of our nation’s fourth estate. They need to check for substance in the man. And if they ever find any, maybe they could let the rest of us know about it.

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Copyright 2012, 2013, 2014 © Peter Lowry

Complaints, comments, criticisms and compliments can be sent to [email protected]

Justin ‘The Omnipotent’ Trudeau.

June 24, 2014 by Peter Lowry

Did you see the latest poll from Forum Research? While you might be skeptical of the polling technique and its findings, Justin Trudeau must be pleased with being number one. Frankly it is the type of poll that can create arrogance in a neophyte politician. And we all need to remember that the Liberal leader is still a newbie. His inexperience is showing and his gaffes are currently outweighing his successes.

Young Trudeau has put himself in a box in relation to piping Athabasca tar sands product. How can you approve TransCanada’s Keystone XL pipeline through the American Midwest and then reject Enbridge’s Northern Gateway across British Columbia? Does that mean we do not give a damn about the American environment but will protect our own? There are far too many environmentalists in the Liberal Party to accept that policy. Nor can we accept the lies involved in support of TransCanada’s Energy East or Enbridge’s Line 9 reversal.

And why Trudeau’s friend and key adviser Gerald Butts, former head of World Wildlife Fund, has not pulled him free of the trap is worrisome. It is leading us to examine his other choices and there is major concern growing.

Trudeau’s choice of David MacNaughton as Ontario co-chair of next year’s election campaign looks like an error. It is probably not as colossal an error as having a civil servant such as Dan Gagnier in the national co-chair role but is indicative of the problem.

The simple success of an organizer such as the late Senator Keith Davey was his ability to spend the day on the telephone and at the end of the day, in his tiny cramped handwriting, on one-page, was a picture of the national attitude. Keith was the most effective conduit for feedback that any politician could ever ask for.

Many of Trudeau’s team appear to have come from the leadership club and not enough have worked their way there through the ranks. Some have never been there. There seems to be little understanding or communication by this group into the grass roots of the Liberal Party. Trudeau has to learn that before you drive a train anywhere, you had better lay some rails.

So far, Trudeau and his Ontario guy, David MacNaughton, have screwed up the by-election in Trinity-Spadina. Nobody is interested in their edicts about who will be the candidate after Trudeau rashly promised an open nomination process for the party. That promise was too important to many key Liberal Party organizers.

Justin Trudeau might think he is omnipotent but that brain trust around him is not!

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Copyright 2014 © Peter Lowry

Complaints, comments, criticisms and compliments can be sent to [email protected]

Harper Hair is perfect, his Cabinet not so good.

June 23, 2014 by Peter Lowry

It seems to be a growing trend in the Conservative Cabinet. Without the human understanding of the late Jim Flaherty, Harper’s hooligans have been running loose. Just one example is Joe Oliver from Toronto. He was a natural disaster as Natural Resources Minister and we are all waiting in anticipation for his first serious gaff as Finance Minister. As luck would have it, you have to do something to be wrong and so far Oliver has luckily done nothing.

But poor Jason Kenney has been in continuing trouble. How is our Employment Minister going to succeed his dear friend Stephen Harper as prime minister if he cannot run a simple foreign workers program? The program was to be used as a warning to Canadians to stifle their ambitions, not a wholesale replacement. When people found there were no low-paying jobs because they were all taken up by lower paid and, more reliable, foreigners some of them started to complain about it.

Long touted as having the ambition to replace Harper, Kenney needed more successes than he has had. This snafu will be costly. Canadians have watched Kenney lose control of the foreign workers program over an extended period. There was not just one blip on the radar, Kenney has been trying to fix this program for some time and the media has made him pay the price.

That is not like former Defence Minister Peter MacKay and now our inept Justice Minister. MacKay is the one who keeps finding cow pads to step in even when he is away from the barnyard. After seeing him show off his ignorance on the subject matter, his proposed bill on prostitution has enraged anyone who has any understanding and empathy for the sex worker. He should also be made to sit in a corner of the cabinet room with a dunce cap for his silly sexist comments on women judges last week. Harper should send MacKay back to Defence where he can play at being a pilot in F-35 mock-ups.

And yet it is people such as Calgary’s Pierre Poilievre, laughingly anointed Minister of State for Democratic Reform, who leave observers completely aghast at how far Harper will sink to achieve his objectives. Poilievre must have been sent back to his kennel after Harper finally conceded some (but not all) ground on the “Fair” Elections Act. We hardly think, Stephen Harper wants to turn that attack dog loose again in what remains of the Conservative’s time in office.

Mind you, the one cabinet incompetent that we also watch with interest is Foreign Minister John Baird. The other half of Harper’s Bobbsey Twins, Baird is a time bomb waiting to ignite. As it is, he is costing us in terms of the respect with which Canada was once held around the world.

Canadians will long rue the fallout from the Harper era.

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Copyright 2014 © Peter Lowry

Complaints, comments, criticisms and compliments can be sent to [email protected]

Justin Trudeau: Saint, saviour or sap?

June 22, 2014 by Peter Lowry

Liberal Leader Justin has two by-elections coming up in Toronto on June 30 and if he does not win both easily, he is going to be in deep weeds. Mind you there is little more that Prime Minister Stephen Harper can do to make it difficult for the Liberals.

Calling a by-election for the Monday of a four-day Canada-Day long weekend in Toronto is probably the most evil thing that Stephen Harper could come up with. He likely had to offer the two Conservative candidates Senate seats to get them to even run. If they are the least bit smart, neither will make an appearance in their respective ridings.

But the entire Conservative effort in Toronto is to try to screw Liberal Leader Justin Trudeau. And Justin’s problem is that he has more than Conservatives and New Democrats out to get him. He has some key Liberals who also want to teach him a lesson.

And it all centres in the downtown riding of Trinity-Spadina. It is hard to imagine the docile voters of Scarborough-Agincourt voting anything but Liberal but it was Justin who caused the trouble in Chinatown. It is like the Tom Hanks character in the movie Forrest Gump saying “Stupid is as stupid does.”

Many key Liberals throughout Ontario are appalled at what Justin has done in the run-up for this by-election. And it was more than just breaking his promise of open nominations in the party. He broke his word to the key volunteer organizers throughout the party in Ontario. Those people are a critical resource and Justin simply gave them the finger.

And then he disallowed the candidacy of long-time Liberal apparatchik Christine Innes in Trinity-Spadina. This was not only foolish but it was also spiteful. It was not Christine that some people wanted to stifle. It was her husband Tony Ianno. Many of us know Tony for what he is but, we never put the blame on Christine. To blame her for her husband’s real or imagined transgressions is both sexist and stupid.

But then our own Forrest Gump stuck us with his chosen candidate: Adam Vaughan. The young Vaughan cut his political teeth in that playpen of a City Council chamber in Toronto with his buddy New Democrat Mike Layton. Gee, welcome to the Liberal Party Adam. Why?

It will take a major effort to get out the Liberal vote in Trinity-Spadina on June 30. The New Democratic candidate is an expert at the ground game. He knows what he has to do. Does Justin?

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Copyright 2014 © Peter Lowry

Complaints, comments, criticisms and compliments can be sent to [email protected]

Gateway gets the Go.

June 19, 2014 by Peter Lowry

So who is surprised? Prime Minister Stephen Harper has given Canadians the finger and approved the Northern Gateway pipeline to be built by Enbridge from Bruderheim, Alberta to Kitimat, B.C. The rhetoric will rage into the election next year. While we argue, three other pipelines will take up the task—and that is not counting the Keystone XL fiasco running south to the Texas tanker ports.

The only problem for the public is to learn the warning signs if they are being conned in regard to the controversy. The best indicator of bias is the language people use to make their case. These pipelines might have once carried natural gas or crude oil but the intent today of the pipelines—Keystone XL, Enbridge’s Line 9 through Toronto, TransCanada’s Energy East and Kinder Morgan—is to push heated and diluted bitumen at high pressure to its destination. That destination is usually an oil tanker because most Canadian oil refineries do not want the pollution problems with refining bitumen.

By no stretch of the imagination is bitumen oil. By removing impurities and much of the carbon molecules, bitumen can be refined into synthetic crude oil. It is not heavy oil, nor is it petroleum (petroleum is a product of crude oil). Nor is bitumen a made-up word such as ‘dilbit.’ It has to be labelled what it is because first-responders to a spill have to know what it is they have to do to contain it.

The reason why environmentalists go ape over bitumen is because it starts life with environmental damage and continues that damage until the carbon settles back into the earth and the process starts over. Currently washing bitumen out of tar sands uses massive amounts of hot water. This is disposed of in settling tanks in Alberta that leech chemicals into the ground water, the streams and rivers of our north country. This disposal does nobody any good.

The next step is to mix the bitumen with a polymer or other accelerant, heat it and then push it at high pressure through a pipeline that might have been originally built for natural gas or light crude oil. A sensible person does not suggest there “might” be a spill.” They simply say: “When there is a spill.” If the spill is on land, the lighter chemicals in the bitumen soup go into the ground water and the heavy stuff stays on the surface. In water, that process reverses. The bitumen gradually sinks to the bottom and you have an impossible clean-up problem and a lot of dead fish.

There is a businessman who is worried about a tanker spill in the ecologically sensitive coastal waters around Kitimat and he wants to build a large refinery and refine the bitumen in Kitimat. This is an interesting idea as the amount of refining needed for all that bitumen and the prevailing winds would produce a carbon footprint that would probably make Prince George and Edmonton uninhabitable within five years.

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Copyright 2014 © Peter Lowry

Complaints, comments, criticisms and compliments can be sent to peter@lowry.me

They are after our voting method again.

June 17, 2014 by Peter Lowry

It is a knee-jerk reaction after every election these days. It is when people realize that the winning party did not get 50 per cent of the vote. They complain because they think all parties should get seats in the legislature according to their share of the vote. And, of course, they do not.

It is because we North Americans still believe in a voting system that is called First-Past-the-Post. It is a very old and democratic system of electing representatives to represent us. We have not found a replacement for it that people understand as easily, or can meet their needs as well. It would be great to have run-off elections in some circumstances but nobody seems to want to pay for that.

The basic problem with the complainers is that they want to vote for a party instead of a candidate. In First-Past-the-Post, you can do both. If you do not have the time to meet or hear what your local candidate has to say, you can simply vote for the party of your choice. Our system is very accommodating that way. There is a widely held belief that in some ridings a party can run the village idiot and this person will win, simply because of the party he or she represents. That is the voters’ right.

Frankly, it has always been our impression that if all the voters in Babel met and talked at any length with the current Member of Parliament, he could not be elected dogcatcher. He has served repeated terms because of his party and name recognition and not because of his contribution in our nation’s parliament. He has never done anything in Ottawa worth the expense of sending him there.

And why should we send anyone to Ottawa just to vote for every stupid, ideological action of his or her political party?

And that is why we have been so opposed to people proposing proportional representation for Canada and the provinces. We need better representation in Ottawa than proportional representation provides. We need people chosen by the voters, not by the political parties. We need people who think about the needs of the voters, not the needs of their party. We desperately need people in parliament and our legislatures who represent the voters, not a party and its leader.

Democracy is a fragile form of government and we have got to protect it. We have to fight any threatened encroachment of our rights as citizens. We can trust no one with our rights and freedoms but ourselves.

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Copyright 2014 © Peter Lowry

Complaints, comments, criticisms and compliments can be sent to peter@lowry.me

Crockatt keeps the C.R.A.P. coming.

June 16, 2014 by Peter Lowry

Calgary Centre Member of Parliament Joan Crockatt has more CRAP for us than we suspected. It seems to prove that she is really in the running for the best CRAP of the Year Award. The former journalist has the advantage that she can disseminate CRAP on behalf of the House of Commons Standing Committee on Natural Resources.

Fondly referred to as Crappies, CRAP Awards are named after the political practice of sending out news releases that are nothing more than Consolidated Reports on Approved Policies (CRAP). CRAP is the result of political party leaders not having the time to approve all the releases and speeches made by the members of their caucus and as long as the CRAP follows the guidelines of previously approved policies, they do not need approval. MPs are graded by the Leader’s office as to how well they stay within the approved guidelines.

The Best CRAP of the Year Award is saved for the politician sending out the best news release or making the most original speech based on a good CRAP.

Crockatt’s latest CRAP from the Natural Resources Committee tells us that Canada’s oil and gas industry has extended our average life spans. Not only that but an expert witness, University of Toronto geography professor Pierre Desrochers, assured the Commons Committee that every indicator of human well-being improved because we use carbon fuels. His theory is that we should share the benefits of our oil and gas with the rest of the world—“especially developing economies.”

Since there is no question but the Industrial Revolution of the mid 1700s benefitted from the ready availability of coal to power the invention of steam engines, you have to admit that the coal had benefit. It also created lots of pollution. Oil and gas came into common use later in the 1800s. That also created pollution but it also allowed science to move forward as more human labour was taken over by machines.

But since the Harper Conservatives are not interested in problems created by pollution or in solutions offered by science, they would much rather export oil and gas to developing nations that do not care about science or pollution either.

It is interesting to note that Crockatt tells us of the advice of one bureaucrat to the parliamentary committee was that Canada has an economic opportunity (with Alberta’s tar sands) but needs to act quickly. He might be right.

Ms. Crockatt’s CRAP is certainly earning her attention. She will probably continue to bury us in CRAP until the federal election next year.

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Copyright 2014 © Peter Lowry

Complaints, comments, criticisms and compliments can be sent to peter@lowry.me

What was the Hair doing with that Aussie?

June 14, 2014 by Peter Lowry

We wrote recently that Prime Minister Stephen Harper had no friends. That was a lie. Australian Prime Minister Tony Abbott dropped by early last week and he and his friend Stephen Harper had a love-in. The Hair has to like Abbott, he is the only elected Commonwealth leader further to the political right than Canada’s prime minister. Like many Aussies, Abbott is a Libertarian, misogynist racist but then nobody is perfect.

Please do not assume that we have any apprehensions about Australians. There are no people with whom we would rather spend time drinking beer with than Aussies. They are great fun. They are industrious. They are tough. They are great story tellers.

But you have to empathize with their women. Aussie men can often act as sexist louts. Their treatment of the Australian aboriginals makes us look downright generous to our first nations. It is important to bear in mind that Australia got its start as a penal colony for Great Britain. Aussies can often be very proud of their linage from this cutpurse or that forger. The problem with Canada is that the people who settled this land either came here because they were bribed to or, at least, came of their own free will.

If you are confused by the Australian Prime Minister being both a monarchist and head of Australia’s Liberal Party, you should be aware that the name of the party was picked by the Institute of Public Affairs in Australia in 1944 when they needed a replacement for the white-supremacist fascists of the Australia First Party. The Liberal Party in Australia is to the right of that country’s Conservative Party. It would be like Canada’s right-wing Fraser Institute creating the Conservative Party of Canada. Come to think of it, did they?

This is not to suggest that the Hair’s friend Mr. Abbott is all that popular back home. Most Aussie friends asked about him tend to scream a lot about “that bastard” and then become thankfully incoherent. He is not expected to enjoy as long a tenure as Prime Minister as the more subtle Mr. Harper.

One of the first things Mr. Abbott did when he became Prime Minister down under was to cancel the carbon tax and anything else environmental that denied business the right to rape and pollute at will. He even scrapped Australia’s department of climate change in case it ever found out anything. His generous tax cuts for corporations make the Hair look like a left-wing cheapskate.

The Hair should pick his friends more carefully.

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Copyright 2014 © Peter Lowry

Complaints, comments, criticisms and compliments can be sent to peter@lowry.me

Turning the public against politicians.

June 8, 2014 by Peter Lowry

If economics is the dismal science, political economy must be the corrupt science and therefore politics is just corrupt. We came to this conclusion when we were bemoaning the fact that some otherwise intelligent people might vote for their Ontario PC Party candidate despite their recognizing the fallacious basis of the “Million Job Plan.”

This conclusion was reached the other day in arguing with a well-educated person who was pulling our chain because he knew we disapproved of Ontario Tory Leader Timmy Hudak. Our argument was that it is strategies such as his that are turning people against politics and politicians. We felt that today’s better educated voter had difficulty countenancing such strategies that made the voter out a fool and that assume the liar—the politician—is smarter than the rest of us.

But we could hardly argue that it does not work. We have watched politicians do it for too long. We were laughing recently when the Ontario PC Leader Tim Hudak told the audience of the provincial leaders’ debate that he would resign if he could not do what he promised. If the Ontario voters gave his party a mandate, he would likely resign before eight years are up anyway.

In eight years, Hudak will be in his mid fifties and will want to move over to the corporate side to build a larger pension fund. Many companies want a former premier on their board and will pay generously for the privilege. If he can keep Bay Street in love with him, he should be able to earn ten times the $200,000 per year pay as premier.

When you consider that the only other private sector employment Hudak has had in his life was with Walmart that is quite an increase.

Former federal prime ministers can do even better. Why Stephen Harper is hanging on to his position seems to have more to do with his legacy than his family economics. While he has still to find the key to defeating Justin Trudeau, he has not made any of the moves necessary for an orderly transition of power in his party.

But it is hardly just Conservatives who lie to us. They might be better at it and more dogged at it but all the other parties have proved they can lie. Jean Chrétien came to power in 1993 and broke his promises. And nobody believed Paul Martin when he got his chance at the game. Justin Trudeau has already broken his promises to Liberals about open party nominations.

And do not get us started on the hypocrisy of the New Democrats. Maybe we have just been around politics too long.

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Copyright 2014 © Peter Lowry

Complaints, comments, criticisms and compliments can be sent to peter@lowry.me

The Hair hears from an unhappy hooker.

June 7, 2014 by Peter Lowry

Canada’s prime minister received an interesting e-mail yesterday. It was from the hooker who tried to explain her profession to Stephen Harper back when the federal cabinet was discussing the need to correct Canada’s laws on prostitution. The hooker was less than impressed with Justice Minister Peter MacKay’s “Protection of Communities and Exploited Persons Act.” She put it rather bluntly: “You didn’t hear a God-damn word that any knowledgeable person said, did you?”

What seemed to stick in the hooker’s craw was the hypocrisy of the proposed bill. “By defying the Supreme Court’s intent in allowing you time to fix the problem, you are forcing the whole process to start over. You are solving nothing and pushing the question out another five to six years when the Supreme Court can again rule,” she said.

“In the meantime, you are presenting horrendous problems for the lower courts. After all, can you show me a John with a stiffy and the sense to demand the hooker show photo ID to check if she really is 18?”

She further asked: “What makes anyone think a judge can order something removed from the World-Wide Web? And if I work out of a bar where children are not allowed, why should the bar owner be charged with receiving a ‘material benefit’ for sexual exploitation?

“This bill is not addressing the concerns of either our Supreme Court justices, Canadian society or of prostitutes. It is regressive legislation that criminalizes prostitution. It is created by people who have no understanding of human sexuality or needs. This is not solving problems. This is adding to them,” she complained.

“This is the kind of legislation that just drives prostitution into the hands of pimps and criminals. It encourages abuse. It teaches children not of the fulfillment of sex but that it must be hidden away. Instead of sex being part of the adventure of life, it is relegated to the dark and unseen regions. It encourages abuse and rape in human sexuality instead of joy and understanding,” she concluded.

When the secretary was through reading the angry e-mail from the hooker, she shook her head. There was no point she could see in passing on the information to that dimwit Peter MacKay. She put it on the growing pile that the Prime Minister might read when he comes back from posturing at the G-7 in Europe. She knows it will do no good.

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Copyright 2014 © Peter Lowry

Complaints, comments, criticisms and compliments can be sent to [email protected]

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