Municipal Politics – Page 32

Will the Golden Arches rescue Babel mandarins?

January 10, 2012 by Peter Lowry

Babel’s train station to nowhere was true to its costly reputation at last night’s General Committee meeting of Babel city council. City staff was asking council to approve another $680,000 to pay for some interior work on the historic Allandale Station buildings. They needed to make one of the building’s habitable for a single city employee to be able to work there.

It seems that the city staff had discovered that they cannot take over insuring the finished (outside anyway) project unless the building is used for some city purpose. You would have sworn that the Keystone Kops of another era had come inside city hall for the winter. Some councillors were stunned. Some put on their thinking caps. Some tossed out ill-considered solutions. And a few tried to change the staff-written resolution to provide the money. It could have gone on for quite a while if one councillor had not finally pointed out that maybe staff should solve their own problem.

City staff people, who were in attendance in the council chambers—there to provide ‘wise’ council—were horrified. They looked at each other in dismay. They had already missed one bullet when a councillor innocently asked what the total bill was for the restoration of the historic station. There might be a small overrun, it was admitted. It would still be close to the $4.3 million, the councillors were told.

But it was very disturbing for the staff flunkies to take the flack for this new problem. They were given until February 6 to come back with a plan. They were told find a better way to insure the buildings. They were also told to find someone who can find a tenant for one of the buildings. It was suggested that a commercial real estate person might be whom they need.

And that was when you knew that the whole thing would be derailed again. They obviously are not familiar with how commercial real estate people work. These are people you hire for their knowledge of a market, the relative costs for different types of facilities and where they might be found. If you ask them to find a tenant, they will take the shortest route possible to a solution. The shortest route in Babel would be to McDonald’s for a Big Mac.

But even if the Golden Arches rise over the train station, then the problem will be where can McDonald’s customers find places to park? And how do you arrange the drive-through window without ruining the effects of the restoration?

Mind you, the councillor who asked for this bounce-back to staff said that he really wants to have a legacy tenant, maybe a museum. That is an even more interesting challenge.

Above the fray in the council chamber, a lone spectator, who looked like Mark Porter, sat with a Mona Lisa smile observing all these deliberations. He must have been waiting for the next item on the agenda. The last item was his offer to solve all the problems if council just gives him a four-month exclusive opportunity to negotiate a deal for the other 4.1 acres of land around the station. They gave him three months which was fair enough.

But all that time he sat there, he must have been thinking: I have to negotiate with these people. It will probably be like a battle of wits with people who are unarmed.

-30-

Complaints, comments, criticisms and compliments can be sent to [email protected]

Babel hears from the Ontario Legislature.

January 6, 2012 by Peter Lowry

Babel has heard from its man at Queen’s Park. The electoral district sent Mr. Jackson there in early October. We received mail from him this week and he also signed an article in the Examiner. There is little to say about the mailing piece; the recycle bin was already filled with copies from our neighbours, so we added ours. The Examiner article, we read.

The first thing that was obvious about the article was that our new Member of the Provincial Parliament has not spent his time taking a journalism course. This was written for him. It was very modest of him to only have his name at the beginning and end of the article. Usually something like this is written as a news release and the MPP’s name is worked into every second paragraph.

The story was based on Statistics Canada’s release of unemployment figures in October of last year. It also picked up on Conservative Leader Tim Hudak’s mid-December release that linked unemployment to the perceived weaknesses of Ontario’s apprenticeship programs. Whoever wrote the MPP’s article, failed to include the information on the subject from the mayor’s blog at Babel’s city hall Internet site.

The more timely response by Babel’s mayor to the unemployment figures last October pointed out the problem was that Statscan emphasized the donut hole instead of the donut. The mayor, justifiably, complained that Statscan made headlines of the unemployment and ignored the similarly high rate of employment. It is a factor of the average age of people in Babel. With its younger population, Babel is also near the top of the charts of the percentage of people employed.

Tiny Tim Hudak’s December release was just to blame Premier McGuinty for all of Ontario’s unemployment woes. This was hardly a surprise. What was confusing was that he explained that Ontario only allowed one new apprentice for every four journeyman trades persons in the province. While not a trained economist such as the Leader of the Opposition at Queen’s Park, we must admit that the ratio rule makes absolutely no sense. Surely there are various trades that need more apprentices and some that need fewer apprentices. Is nobody doing any forecasting in this?

But our earnest MPP gives a plug to Georgian College for its efforts with apprenticeship programs. We expect we can all agree with that as we face a new year in Babel with renewed determination.

-30-

Complaints, comments, criticisms and compliments can be sent to [email protected]

Babel’s Potemkin train station to nowhere.

January 2, 2012 by Peter Lowry

It rises above the mists of the 19^th Century on the southwest corner of Kempenfelt Bay. Surely, you can catch the train to Hogwarts on Platform 9¾. The Polar Express should also leave from here. This is Babel’s multi-million dollar donation to history. The exterior is beautifully restored. There are no travellers. There are no trains. Not from Babel’s Allandale Station. There are only the ghosts of travellers past.

The GO station hides behind the Allandale Station. It’s its own expense file. Babelites will be boarding trains to Toronto at this new GO Station, this year, maybe, sometime. It includes an underpass for those parking on Gowan, the street behind. It includes bus shelters for home-bound travellers to wait for a Babel bus—that will also come, sometime.

But do not confuse the South Lakeshore GO Station with the Allandale Train Station. They are not one and the same.

The Allandale Train Station is historical. The property around it is an opportunity for an entrepreneur. If you cannot make money from development in the area, you can maybe sue the city for something you think it should have done or maybe did do. The lawyers will take charge of the file and will argue over it. Only the lawyers will be enriched. When everyone is tired of it, there will be recompense paid. It all comes from the taxpayers anyway.

But for now, the mystic Allandale Train Station sits all pristine, buffed and polished, it holds court as the jewel on the bay. It awaits the decisions as to its fate. What it should be is a destination for the world to see. It could become a pride of place for Babelites. It could also become a favourite destination for Torontonians. They can stand in line to buy GO tickets to bring them to our prize.

For optimum return on investment, we have recommended that the Allandale Train Station front an entertainment complex with casino and hotel. It could also front a family-oriented complex with water park and roller coasters and take us all back to our childhood. Another recommendation is that the lands include a world-class concert hall to be built in the style of the Algonquin longhouse. Babel needs music. It needs culture. And we need to take pride in Babel.

Or if not, we can think small-town and stay a small town. We can easily coast along as a bed-room community of the Greater Toronto Area. Or we can believe in ourselves and what we can be. The original Allandale Station was built for a thriving town at the gateway to Ontario’s north. It was a destination place then. It should be today.

-30-

Complaints, comments, criticisms and compliments can be sent to [email protected]

The omnipotence of the Toronto Star.

December 3, 2011 by Peter Lowry

There is no stigma attached to reading the Toronto Star. As Canada’s largest circulation daily newspaper, it sets a reasonably high standard, has some very good writers and columnists and it does not take too long to find where they have hidden the comics and horoscopes each day. Why Toronto Mayor Rob Ford hates the Star is therefore a puzzler.

It is not as though, the Toronto mayor can win any arguments with the newspaper. It is no skin off the Toronto Star editors’ noses if he does not invite the Star’s reporters into his inner sanctum at city hall. They will report with or with out the mayor’s cooperation. All that his cooperation could achieve is a fairer interpretation of the mayor’s side on the issues of the day.

The mayor needs to remind himself that the pseudo-left wing editorial stance of the paper has nothing to do with the worker bees out trying to get their quota of stories for the day. He should identify himself with the board of Torstar, the company that owns the Toronto Star Newspaper. Rob Ford would be surprised to discover that most Torstar board members are his kind of people.

Think of it, the Torstar board are the people who own and make money off Harlequin Romances. These are the people who are spreading illiteracy across Ontario with local newspapers designed to wrap weekly grocery flyers. These disgusting local publications set new records every week in speed to recycling. Torstar’s local publications can make Sun Newspapers seem literate.

Unlike television news where you can give up on CTV during the saccharine period of Toy Mountain Time and switch to Global, switching newspapers is much more difficult. Admittedly, the Globe and Mail does a much better job on business news than the Star but the crossword is so damn difficult. If you can learn to move your lips as you read, you can switch to the Toronto Sun. Besides, reading the Toronto Sun will leave you with an extra hour each day to do something important. Yes, we know there is a Toronto paper called the National Post, but no liberal would be caught dead with a copy.

It is time for reconciliation. Just think of the front page picture of John Honderich, chair of Torstar, in his trademark bowtie, locking lips with Mayor Ford in front of City Hall. Bring your cell phones, a YouTube of that will go viral.

-30-

Complaints, comments, criticisms and compliments can be sent to [email protected]

The grace and charm of Rob Ford.

November 28, 2011 by Peter Lowry

Rob Ford is mayor of Toronto. As former mayors have noted over the years, it is not an overly rewarding experience being mayor of Canada’s largest city. As someone mentioned this morning, “Do you know Ford’s approval rating is at 29 per cent?”

That seemed high. We are sure that buyers’ remorse set in the day after Ford was elected more than a year ago. He has not endeared himself with Toronto voters since that fateful day. The only thing that might be keeping his approval rating artificially high is his ability to work the telephones. When a constituent telephones Rob Ford, they get a call back. Ford prides himself on doing that. Anyone can call him. His only problem is convincing many recipients of his calls that it really is the mayor calling them back.

In Babel, the first time we called the new mayor, we were grilled by a secretary who did not know us. She wanted to be sure we were not going to waste the mayor’s time.

Rob Ford not only calls people back but if he can do something to help them, he will. He learned the trick in business a long time ago to immediately get a problem off his desk. Give the problem to somebody to fix and woe betide the flunky who drags his or her feet in getting it done.

This also seems to be Ford’s budgeting theory. He does not believe in using a sharper pencil to do budgeting. He just uses a larger bludgeon. This guy does not believe in subtlety. One of the few city departments to get away with more money this year was the police department. This seems to have happened after someone explained to him what would happen if the police caught him one more time using his cell phone while driving.

Admittedly, Rob Ford is distinctive. He is not a handsome man. Compared to the chief of police in his natty uniform, Rob Ford comes across as a bit of a slob. He is one of the few men in public life in Canada who must have a barber who hates him. His haircut usually looks like somebody got even. Not only does it look like a bad cut but he must use some type of gel to keep it spikey.

But we hear his mother loves him. His brother seems to be his buddy. He has drawn together a motley crew of right-wing councillors to help him control a large and unruly city council. Could he be all bad?

-30-

Complaints, comments, criticisms and compliments can be sent to [email protected]

Santa Claus comes to Babel.

November 21, 2011 by Peter Lowry

The City of Babel should stick to fireworks. It does good fireworks. It has work to do on its Santa Claus parade. The city is so embarrassed by its parade for Santa that it holds it after dark.

Tired, hungry and cranky children should not have to wait until after dark for an all-to-brief view of dear old Santa. In the dark, you have no way of reading the signs saying who sponsored what. Nor do you really see many floats at their best. The only one that was well identified was the one for the new Member of Provincial Parliament for Babel, whose name was almost as big as the old fire truck on which he was riding. And we had no flowers to throw.

It was just as well we could not read who was sponsoring what because we would have liked to talk to the people sponsoring the truck load behind the small pipe band. The pipers were doing their best but the stupid truck driver behind them kept adding his discordant air horn to the cacophony.

There was another very large marching band in smart yellow capes and we could not tell if they were from the Knights of Columbus or the Loyal Orange Lodge. It was suggested that with the size of the band, the two organizations might have got together this year. In any case, we enjoyed the piece they were playing.

The organizers of Santa’s float had gotten smart this year. There were high intensity lights mounted on the front of his sleigh so the little tykes could see Santa. He was a good one too and he talked to the children as he went by.

It was a fair crowd on the Lakeshore considering it was after dark. The parade had to wind its way downtown to the tree lighting ceremony and fireworks. The fireworks were brief but excellent, as always.

-30-

Complaints, comments, criticisms and compliments can be sent to [email protected]

Politics in Babel: Strange happenings.

November 20, 2011 by Peter Lowry

Writing about politics is fun. Being part of the game is hazardous. You never know from where the next missile will come. That thought was present the other day when we found out that the upcoming annual general meeting of the Barrie Federal Liberal Association would not be as uneventful as these events usually can be.

Instead of just considering dull constitution changes, there will be a contest for the party presidency. The role of president is no easy job. It requires a lot of work, a considerable amount of time and dedication. When you get a good one, you like to keep them for at least a few terms. It helps build a strong association.

And the local party has a good one at this time. He has been in the job over the past year. He helped bring the party together. He provided strong organizational support during a tough federal election campaign in the spring. He has been doing an excellent job in building the riding executive. He not only worked hard through the federal election but he helped ensure good support to the new provincial candidate this fall.

And now he is being challenged—not by a newcomer–but by a former Member of Parliament and the now retired Member of the Provincial Parliament. Why she wants the job is not clear.

She hardly needs the position of riding president to be influential in Barrie. It is actually a step backward. She would never put in the work that the current president is doing.

And where was she during the federal election earlier this year? The federal candidate could have used her help.

When people run for a position such as president of the riding association, you expect them to explain why. When they decide to run against someone who has been doing a good job, you expect them to have a very interesting explanation.

To help her campaign for the party presidency, the former MPP has enlisted her husband to run for the association position of fund-raising chair. The riding association would have sent a brass band to welcome one of Canada’s more prominent lawyers if they had known he was willing to do that job.

But what is her agenda? She should explain.

-30-

Complaints, comments, criticisms and compliments can be sent to [email protected]

Old arguments; same busybodies!

October 31, 2011 by Peter Lowry

Some days Babel is a smaller one-pony town than other days. One of the problems with this pretend city is that too many services are controlled by the farmers of Simcoe County. Not only is Simcoe County the biggest county in Ontario but it seems to have more out-of-touch busybodies per square kilometre than you should properly stack in a square mile. What brings them to mind today is that the Simcoe Muskoka District Health Unit is wagging a collective finger at Babel and telling us not to go along with selling beer and wine in the local convenience stores.

The statement from a spokesperson for the health unit actually said “We know that increased availability leads to increased consumption which leads to alcohol-related harm.” That was the same statement as the Women’s Christian Temperance Union used 100 years ago that got the booze industry in this province into the messed-up monopolies that it is today.

We have no idea as to what the health unit spokesperson knows or what the WCTU spokeswomen knew 100 years ago but that statement shows they do not know what they are talking about. In fact, if anything, the opposite is the case.

When people buy something from a ‘convenience’ store, it is because the store is convenient for them and they tend to buy smaller quantities of the desired product. This is because they know that if they want more, the store is convenient for them. This is why manufacturers who sell through convenience stores tend to provide the stores with six-packs as opposed to two-fours. Less product is sold for a higher profit.

But you can hardly expect a health unit to know a damn thing about modern marketing. All we know is that if we are going to drive over to that disgusting Beer Store cum bottle return dump on Anne Street, we are going to get enough beer to make the trip worthwhile. We always feel that we need a hot bath with lots of soap after visiting there.

So let’s hear a cheer for the stalwarts at all the convenience stores in Babel. Keep fighting the good fight guys and gals. We are with you!

-30-

Complaints, comments, criticisms and compliments can be sent to [email protected]