We’re going to stop terrorists from flying, it is job number one.

But if tourists no longer want to fly, haven’t the terrorists won?

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Michael Ignatieff wants a liberal program for the country

Stephen Harper has a program but never shows an entry.

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Remember when flying was no big deal? I remember one day, hopping an SAS flight to spend a fun weekend in Copenhagen. Flying was a regular aspect of my work and I adapted easily to it. It was so routine, I used to arrive at the airport about ten minutes before any flight departure and have the doors close on my behind as I headed for my seat. Not any more my friend. Flying is a lousy option today.

Driving is already getting worse. Shortly after 9/11, driving to visit relatives near Boston, I was talking to a woman at a place where we stopped for lunch in the Hamptons. She saw the Ontario plates and was curious about how long it took us to cross the border with the new restrictions. I told her honestly that the three-minute delay at the border was no problem. She was horrified and I think she hurried off to call her congressman and complain about Canadians getting across the border so easily. Today, you line up for an hour or more and then it still takes just a few minutes to convince the border person that you are an unlikely terrorist.

But flying today is a one-size-fits-all experience. You are a terrorist until proved innocent. So much for that vaunted American article of jurisprudence that says you are innocent until judged guilty. They are actually saying that you need to be at the airport four hours before your flight so that you can stand in line. What standing in line for four hours has to do with protecting America from terrorists, I have no idea.

The latest craze at airports is the idea of somebody seeing you naked. That sounds like the most revolting job since we gave up scrubbing out cesspools by hand. I could save all the airports a lot of money: make everybody fly naked. All you have to do is check your clothes and carry-ons with your luggage. I think, to be fair, the cabin crew should also be naked. After all, you need someplace to look.

And what the heck was President Obama doing on television the other day complaining about the lousy protection of America because somebody did something in his pants? I thought Obama was the boss. Why he cannot hire some more intelligent intelligence people is beyond me.

All I know is the days of the friendly skies are long gone. Paranoia is now the norm. If I need to go to the United States of America for any reason, I will walk across the border. It is a minimum delay system. On the other side, they have very nice buses if you are going some distance. Not since 1934 when Frank Capra directed Clark Gable and Claudette Colbert in It happened one night, has anyone done so much for bus travel.

Next time someone wants to fly you away to some romantic locale in America, just tell them “No thanks, but have you considered a bus?” And do Hawaii by cruise ship, that can be really romantic.

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Complaints, comments, criticisms and compliments can be sent to [email protected]

Winter has come to Babel with snow, winds and ice,

Maybe you like winter but the weather’s hardly nice.

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“Flaherty,” Stephen Harper said, “Your budgets are a fright.

You only have until March this year to finally get one right.”

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Snake was mean about it. It is not that he meant to be mean but older brothers sometimes cannot seem to help it. It was just that he thought the Corporal was so funny making resolutions for New Year’s.

“That’s silly,” he told the Corporal. “Kids, don’t make resolutions. Adults make resolutions, so they can break them. Kids who make resolutions simply forget them.”

“I’m not silly. I’m going to tell Mommy that you called my resolutions silly,” was the Corporal’s not-so-grown-up retort.

Snake knew that the Corporal was measuring the best place to kick him and still give the smaller child the lead he would need to run to Mommy for protection. He decided it might be better to forestall hostilities until he was in a better position to pound some sense into the young twerp.

“Look, Corporal, just cool your jets for a minute,” he said in a placating way. “The resolution you told Mommy was that you were going to keep all of the Ten Commandments in 2010. That would be impressive if you even knew all the commandments. And what would be even more impressive would be if you knew what each of the commandments means.

“Let me give you an example,” he said as he sidled sideways to get into a better defensive position, “Number ten of the Ten Commandments is full of ‘covets.’ Do you even know what ‘covet’ means?”

He could see the frustration building on the Corporal’s face. Maybe this is not a good strategy, he thought.

Before the Corporal could think of some words to retort, Snake said, “It doesn’t matter. ‘Covet’ is just another word for a cover for a duvet.”

The Corporal seemed to be somewhat taken back by that explanation. “Are you sure?” he asked. “Mommy says that when we aren’t sure about the meaning of a word, we should look it up in the dictionary or on the Internet.”

“Oh, I already have,” Snake fibbed. “I know, you know the eighth commandment, the one about stealing. I guess you already broke that one because my Hummer’s missing from my ‘GI Joe’ stuff.”

“I did not steal it,” the Corporal insisted. “I just—sorta—borrowed it to see if it fit in my terrarium. I thought the Gecko would look good driving it.

“Stupid Gecko, all he wants to do is sleep under it,” he added.

When Mommy came up with a hamper full of laundry a short time later, she found the two guys studying something in the Corporal’s terrarium. “I guess they are learning to play together as they get older,” she noted.

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Complaints, comments, criticisms and compliments can be sent to [email protected]

Over in Afghanistan, they’re killing journalists

Keeping us from truth is war with all its twists.

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Mr. Harper does not believe in democracy, I fear,

He prorogued again, the GG lets him every year!

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Canadians are politically adrift, heading toward a right-wing shift,

Leadership is at a premium but it is what is needed, at a minimum.

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Few cities do as good a job as Babel with celebrations. It adds an especially good effort in fireworks. You always know when the events are over by the fireworks display. Babel is ideally suited to fireworks with its waterfront situated in a valley in the centre of town. People in the condominium towers around the bay feel even more fortunate as they have front-row seating to all the pyrotechnic spectaculars.

An additional treat each year is the double whammy of New Years Eve when a special shorter program is launched earlier in the evening for the children who cannot stay up for the big event at midnight. That is a special consideration for our young families that is really appreciated.

Regrettably, many people were indignant last year when the Wise Men of Babel (our city council) cancelled the fireworks on the long weekend when we were celebrating Queen Victoria’s Birthday. (You need to be a bit older to remember when English-speaking Canadian children sang the ditty: Twenty-fourth of May, the Queen’s birthday, if we don’t get a holiday, we’ll all run away!) It seemed that the Wise Men were being a bit cheap in that regard. It is noted, they appear to have the money for special events: like the Olympic Torch Run.

But maybe Royal Bank paid for these fireworks? One hopes so. As the bank is referred to in its advertising as the ‘enthusiastic’ sponsor of the run, we can only hope it covers all expenses. Why a bank wants to have people run all over the country with over-sized cigarette lighters in promotion of an Olympic event that is probably already sold out, we have yet to fathom. Maybe it is just one of those feel-good things that will make us all more friendly towards the Royal Bank when the Canadian women’s hockey team wins another gold medal at the Vancouver Olympics. It’s a reach but makes sense. Goodness knows, the bank has more than enough profits that it can take the money from petty cash.

The big fireworks event each year in Babel is Canada’s birthday celebration on July 1. There is no dicking around allowed on that day. We go all out. Chairs are lined up on the balcony. No doubt a healthy charge could be levied for those seats but we always give them freely to family and friends (as well as supply booze and small flags to wave). The fireworks are ignited on a barge that moves to a position to best take advantage of any breezes. Most often the barge parks near the Centennial Fountain and all the big dramatic stuff in fiery color bursts right in front of us.

In winter, the lighting of the fireworks is done from the downtown waterfront and our bedroom window affords the warmest (and more intimate) view. We are getting far more than our usual share this week as the Olympic Torch Run came through on Tuesday evening and then Thursday night is New Year’s Eve.

So Happy New Year 2010, everybody.

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Complaints, comments, criticisms and compliments can be sent to [email protected]