In the oral histories of North American plains indians, counting coup was how they measured the honour of the warrior. It is a tradition passed on through the generations and today is part of the folklore and practices of North American politicians. There are many ways of counting coup and each one is a bigger time waster than the one before.
Counting coup is how our national politicians while away the long hours of tedium in the longhouses of Ottawa and Washington. Likewise in our provincial and state chief wigwams, we see the riposte of the jibes across the floor that can wound more cruelly than the weightiest of coup sticks. Even in our municipal teepees, the apprentice politicos practice their coup skills and tally their eagle feathers so that they might too, someday, play in these silly senior games.
The objective of a successful coup is to take honour from your opponent and escape unscathed from the field of battle. The greatest of coups is to steal your opponent’s favourite pony—while he is sitting on it. It is the same in politics. Causing discomfort, embarrassment, a loss of prestige and a (figuratively) bruised backside to your political opponent is good for lengthy recounting, much hilarity and free drinks in the alehouses of the nation.
But the only problem is that only other politicians and their hangers-on who give a damn. Voters are not into nuance. It is like at the lowest of political levels, people actually believe in letters-to-the-editor. They are a coup that you can count only on the day it runs. Yesterday’s letters wrap the garbage. Anyone who has ever perused readership studies knows that these letters are a terrible waste of time. The only thing worse than getting your letter-to-the-editor published is winning the endorsement of the publication’s editorial board. The board has, in a single thoughtless move, not only made everything written about their choice suspect but they have laid aside their credibility for everyone who disagrees with their choice. It is a no-win.
An interesting example of taking political coup noted by the media the other day was the very public complaint of Dr. Carolyn Bennett, Member of Parliament for St. Paul’s to House of Commons Speaker Peter Milliken. It seems that Dr. Bennett is in possession of information to the effect that the MP for Babel has abused his parliamentary mailing privileges to send out a flyer in support of a municipal candidate in Babel.
Speaker Milliken is well aware that Dr. Bennett is wasting his time. Never the less, he must do his job and investigate the allegation and rule on whether or not the MP for Babel has been—once again—wasting the taxpayers’ money. The MP might even be told not to do it again. He might also have to (snicker, snicker) assure the Speaker that he will not breach the rules again. In the very worst case, he will have to reimburse the House of Commons for the cost of the mailing.
What Dr. Bennett has done is make another small contribution to the widely held opinion that having the current MP represent Babel in Ottawa is wasteful. There are few politically knowledgeable people in Babel who would not know that Michael Prowse, the municipal candidate for whom the literature was sent, had no need for the assistance of the Babel MP. The Babel MP was hoping, by committing this breach of privilege, that some of Mr. Prowse’s political success as a city councillor would rub off on him.
But in counting coup for Dr. Bennett, this is a quite minor coup.
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