I hate Christmas shopping, I hate the stores with a passion,
You can’t buy something frilly when you don’t know fashion.
For jewellery you have to deal with Ali Baba and his thieves,
More useful, get a flying carpet for if the dog gets the heaves.
How about a kitchen appliance, it’s all she wants, she claims,
Sure great idea, what if next time the potato masher she aims?
If really stupid, you get her an exercycle, telling her she’s fat.
But if so dumb as to give her candy, she’ll gift wrap your hat.
But gentlemen, you can’t go wrong, saying she’s a great wife,
And let her know what an important part she is to your life.
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