We hear that Prime Minister Harper filled his A310 Airbus for his historic trip to Israel. This marks a new trend in tourism for the Prime Minister. Until the trip to Nelson Mandela’s funeral, he was content to take his hairdresser and a few lackeys to help carry his luggage. It was the funeral in South Africa that showed him that a full plane can get him even more publicity. And the lackeys love it.
This trip, even the Bobbsey Twins are allowed to share the treat. Imagine the excitement in Foreign Minister John Baird and Employment Minister Jason Kenney’s offices that they were to be part of the Hair’s pilgrimage to the Holy Land. While not quite the equivalent of a Muslim Haj, it is a unique opportunity to visit the birthplace of both Christianity and Judaism. Mind you, lots of stones have been thrown at many different devils there over the centuries.
It will be a busman’s holiday for John Baird as he gets to see how the Hair handles diplomacy. Mr. Harper will, of course, be lionized by the Israeli politicians for being such a stalwart, unquestioning friend of Israel. They have even decided to name a bird sanctuary in Israel after the Canadian Prime Minister. The Israelis have been assured that no other part of the world would honour him with anything that reflected on the environment. As Canadians know all about Mr. Harper’s concern for the environment, they can see the humour in the Israeli politicians’ choice.
One of the other cabinet ministers who is getting a free tour of the Holy Land at taxpayer expense is Toronto’s Joe Oliver, the Hair’s ersatz minister of natural resources. What unimaginable purpose the Hair would have for taking Mr. Oliver with him is explained by the fact that almost 25 per cent of Oliver’s voters are Jewish.
The Hair’s big moment will be when he is allowed to address the Knesset—the Israeli Parliament. You can be assured that the hairdresser will be at the top of her game that day and not a strand will be out of place. Most of what the Prime Minister will say will be platitudes as he has neither wisdom nor insight to share. His assurances of support against the more aggressive Israeli neighbours in the Middle East will also be hollow but his easy access to the Americans gives him a bit of leverage.
The Israeli politicians can be assured that they will hear no criticism of the wall they erected against their neighbours. There will be no criticism of their obduracy in negotiating fairly with the neighbouring states. They consider the Hair a mensch.
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Copyright 2014 © Peter Lowry
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