The excitement in Babel is palpable. The Lord High Poobah of Ontari-ario—otherwise known as Dauntless Dalton—is coming to Babel to meet with the wise men of Babel. He has heard that they are sage and sagacious and he has asked if he can bring his problems to them. What problems, they wondered would confound a Lord High Poobah? Being wise, they chose to set a test for Dauntless Dalton to see if his problems were really worthy of their attention.
So it came to pass when the Lord High Poobah came to Babel, he was instructed at the edge of town that he must leave his retinue of lackeys and yes-men and O.P. Police stalwarts who would throw down their life for him(?) at the edge of town. He was then allowed to come as a single supplicant to hear the wisdom of the wise men of Babel.
And that is why when the Lord High Poobah arrived at Babel’s impressive City Hall that he was alone, driving a Toyota (built in Ontari-ario) with a faulty accelerator pedal. Luckily, the Dauntless Dalton knew how stop a Toyota, by simply turning off the ignition, and he then left his Ontari-ario-built Toyota sitting askew across the road.
When Dauntless Dalton arrived on the sidewalk in front of Babel city hall, he saw the wise men of Babel around the skating rink and went over to join them. They were doing something strange. One was holding a garden hose and spraying up in the air over the middle of the rink. “What are you doing?” Dauntless Dalton asked of a wise man who was watching the water spray high in the air.
“We are making an ice sculpture,” was the ready answer.
Dauntless Dalton might have no chin but as The Lord High Poobah of Ontari-ario, he has to think quickly. ‘They are testing me,’ he reasoned. ‘If I tell them it is six degrees Celsius and cannot freeze into an ice sculpture, they will consider me unimaginative and incapable of fathoming their superior wisdom.’
“I see,” said Dauntless Dalton, “And what will this piece of work represent when it is finished?
“Why this is a copy of a famous work of art that is on display at the Louvre in Paris. It is known as the Nike of Samothrace or, more popularly, ‘Winged Victory’,” the wise man explained. “Do you see the noble arch of each wing as it takes shape, the fine lines of the individual feathers and the way the cloth swaddles the curves of the body?”
Dauntless Dalton always looks puzzled so he hid his surprise quite well. He looked up, being sure to look where others were looking, and yet he saw nothing. He was worried about that. At the same time, he knew that fine arts were not a popular subject in Ontario-ario schools and he decided he could bluff these rubes from Babel. “Well, you have not done the head yet, or I would have recognized the work,” he said.
And that is why the wise men of Babel have no time or sympathy for the problems of the Lord High Poobah of Ontari-ario. Dauntless Dalton was sent packing. Despite the Babel Police trying to impound his Toyota, he was allowed to start it and it raced quickly out of town. The wise men of Babel issued a proclamation to the citizens of Babel that the Province of Ontari-ario has no head and, for that matter, neither does Winged Victory.
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