Though it is a rare occasion that I read Edward Keenan’s commentaries in the Toronto Star, I had a good laugh at his column the other day. It was not that his column was really intended to be funny. I was laughing at his problems with getting the word ‘shit’ past the Star’s editorial censors.
Obviously, he does not have the freedom enjoyed by his colleague Rosie DiManno. That woman is allowed to write any vulgar word she wants. I think the editors are all afraid of her. Keenan must now think that the proper spelling of ‘shit’ is ‘s—.’
But the story becomes clear when you find out that he was quoting information from an academic study by some Aussies and Brits. They obviously meant to ‘take the piss out of’ their friends the Canucks. (Taking the p— out of somebody in Australia or England is the same as taking the starch out of their shorts and bringing them down to your level.)
They told everyone that this was a serious academic study to determine which of the English-speaking peoples in the world were the best bullshitters. They said that the Canadians won. How we managed to edge out the Americans, we will never know.
Mind you, I can hardly argue against the conclusion. Deciphering bullshit is a common chore in writing speeches and literature for politicians. It is also fair to say that as a public relations professional, people assumed that I always wrote bullshit. I just made it as difficult as possible to prove.
But when you found out the people being tested in this study were 15-year old boys in each country, all the results are questionable. While 15 is a wonderful age, there are different levels of maturity experienced at that age in different countries. In England, they seem to be referenced as young gentlemen. In Canada you would think they are all eager to get their driver’s licence, so they can drive themselves to their hockey games. I guess the Aussie kids are all busy experimenting to see how much of their parents’ beer they can drink.
But our Canadian guys had us fooled. Bullshitters all!
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Copyright 2019 © Peter Lowry
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